


fall in deep

by beatboxbmo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Established Relationship, Everybody Lives, F/F, Getting Back Together, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, POV First Person, Survival, Violence, creatures/monsters, fae is super gay, fantasy/hell world, some strong language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 20:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16025519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatboxbmo/pseuds/beatboxbmo
Summary: “Stop struggling already!”It’s such a shock to hear another human voice that I immediately stiffen. Seconds later the creature bursts into the small clearing in front of us and keeps going, not even slowing down. It’s only then I realize that I’ve been pulled into a little hollow nestled between some trees. I can see the roots start to creep toward us.“Fuckin’ rats,” the stranger spits, finally releasing his hold on me. Instinct--I break into a run.People don’t exist down here, and if they do they’re just as bad as the monsters.





	fall in deep

**Author's Note:**

> this thing was kickstarted by the unique sound of [BLOW](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCitqTt_vnPBhbMy3lrdOlow) who y'all should check out. title from this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGfQDrXHEwk)
> 
> also. i am not a doctor

The whisper of a caress leaves my cheeks as my eyes slide open.

Despite my blurry vision, face to face with Nikki I can see every freckle, every pore etched across her pale face. Her deep blue eyes are wide and trembling with guilt as she inches away from me.

“Sorry,” she whispers, “you were crying.”

I blink, realizing why my vision is blurry. My lids feel heavy and my eyelashes stick together with tears. I can’t remember the last time I cried.

“It was just a dream,” I mutter as I push myself up, ignoring the way my body protests. I’m still aching from the fighting yesterday, from the strenuous activity of staying alive. It’s a miracle Nikki is even awake right now considering what she went through. I want to reach out and cradle her in my arms, protect her from everything, but I know she’d hate that. Probably.

A dream. A memory. Too many emotions had swollen me whole while I slept, and I can still feel them curling and clawing their way around me. The ache, the loneliness, the absence of what was. Nikki doesn’t remember everything about what once was. Too many knocks to the head have scattered her memories on the wind or turned most into dust. I wish the same would happen to me.

But as I glance over my shoulder and watch Nikki rise and stretch, catching a glimpse of her pale stomach, I know I would never want to forget anything about her. Her gentleness, the way she treats everything with care and love. She’s fierce and passionate, and can survive without me down here despite her protests, but I know I would not be able to even _live_ without her. But she doesn’t know that.

I wipe my face again, flinching when I press on the forgotten bruise at my temple. It’s not the most painful thing I’ve felt, considering the wound wrapped around my thigh, but it still smarts.

Nikki catches me flinching and a look of concern fills her face, but she quickly erases it when she sees me looking. She flushes and busies herself with wiping the dust off her body and checking our sleeping area for anything left behind. Our only belongings are a spear thrown to the left of us and a pot tipped over on the right that we boil water in. When we can find water. All our packs, extra clothing, weapons, and food we lost last night in our skirmish with some of the local wildlife. It’s amazing we still have Nikki’s spear left. 

It’s been a couple weeks--it’s hard to tell time down here in the PIt--since we came down here. We thought it would be an escape from the horrors of our life but… I would much rather face the ridicule and wrath of an incompetent human than the monsters that lurk down here.

“Which way are we heading today?” Nikki asks almost enthusiastically, the spear propped against one shoulder while she holds out the pot towards me. Despite her memory loss, despite her bruised and battered body, she has kept her optimism. It’s one of the things that I have always loved about her.

I take it carefully so our fingers don’t brush against each other and turn westwards. There’s supposedly more than one entrance, and we’re desperate to get out of here, but finding one has proven almost impossible. I don’t say a word as I start to walk.

We tried to escape our mundane life so we could be together without fear. Now the only thing we do is fear.

*~*~*~*

A few hours later we come across a stream and quickly get a fire going to boil the water. It’s probably midday or just after, but without a consistent light source, it’s always impossible to tell. It never even gets fully dark here, unless you’re under the cover of the trees. The dry plains we’ve been hiking over offer nothing to eat or defend us with.

Longingly, I look at the stream and want nothing more than to strip and bathe, but Nikki and I haven’t seen one another naked since--since before. She’s back to being her blushing, shy self when it comes to her body and her affections. I’d almost find it endearing like I did when we were fourteen and then twenty, except now it breaks my heart every time.

People back home used to harass Nikki for the light brown freckles that cover her skin. I’d count and kiss every one, tracing patterns between them with the barest of touches. I’d make her shiver and quake with my touches and kisses, reducing her to a mumbling mess. Those used to be my favorite nights.

Now, maybe unconsciously, she’s managed to find a way to keep almost her entire body covered despite the heat and our lack of resources. She keeps a scarf wrapped around her head and face so only her eyes peek out, and the tattered sleeves of her shirt are long enough she can bunch her fingers under the hem. Her pants are ripped in multiple places, but she’s tucked them into the best pair of boots we could buy before we left, also long and laced up tightly. Between the tatters and rips her skin flashes through, and it always makes me hungry for more, but since--I’ve kept my appetite and my gaze to myself. I know it makes her uncomfortable now, even if it’s the hardest thing I do.

Nikki keeps her focus on the fire and our second pot of boiling water. The first we slurped until the pot was dry. I’ve left her to it to keep walking; there’s a thicket of trees just a little further along that seem bright and unimposing. I know it’s a lie, but we need food. There’s no fish or crabs or snails in the river. The trees are our only option.

We’ve tried to stay out of the trees since our first week down here. We thought they’d be safe. Turns out it’s not just the wildlife that’s predatory.

Glancing over my shoulder, I can see Nikki’s throat bob with vibrations; I’m sure I’d be able to hear her hum if I was any closer. It’s a sign that she’s relaxed.

“I’ll be right back,” I call out to her. I have to clear my throat and repeat myself before the words are loud enough to reach her. She jumps and stares at me with wide eyes. 

“Wait--” her hands start to reach for the spear I left behind, either in an attempt to give it to me or come with, but I wave her off. Dust is kicked up in her attempt to come after me.

I can’t even force myself to give a reassuring smile. I don’t even remember the last time I smiled, either.

“We need food, and our only option is in there. I’ll be back in an hour.”

It’s clear she wants to argue with me on this. She bites her lip and that little furrow appears between her eyebrows as her eyes dart between me and the trees. They’re hidden, but I know there’s still bruises twining around her torso and arms from when the last time we walked beneath the trees. I still bear the limp from almost having my leg ripped off. Which reminds me: I should probably wash the wound when I get back.

Nikki doesn’t say anything more. She nods and retreats back to the fire without a backward glance. She throws whatever’s nearby onto the fire. Her pouting almost makes me want to stay but…

In the shadowy coolness of the trees, everything falls silent. Even my steps are muffled by moss and mulch covering the ground. Even without natural sunlight, it’s amazing how the plant life is able to thrive down here. Then again, it seems as though most of the plants feed off other things besides sunlight.

I sidestep a curling vine that reaches for my ankle. I want to squash it, but there’s surely more vines slinking behind it. Not to mention the razor-sharp hairs that would pierce through my shoes if I attempted such a thing.

The thicket grows thicker as I realize I’ve inadvertently stepped into a massive forest. It didn’t look that big from the outside, but it might have been my mind playing tricks on me. It grows darker, so dark I can barely see where I’m going. There’s faint bioluminescent trails weaving between and up the trees, as well as fireflies flitting between the trunks. I almost want to stop and pick the mushrooms, because surely that’s what the light is, but it’s too risky. I don’t know if I’ll be able to find anything with so little light.

Maybe I should have brought a torch. 

The longer I walk, the more appealing it sounds to pick the mushrooms. Or even climb some trees and hope they bear fruit or nuts and not snakes or other creatures unhear--

I’m swept off my feet with a growl echoing around me. I don’t even have time to shout as I’m hoisted into the air and dangled in front of four pairs of glowing yellow eyes and a gaping hole where the mouth should be. My breath catches at the sight, but I don’t let my fear grip me as I ball my right hand into a fist and swing out with all my might towards that monstrous face. It connects, but instead of sending the head reeling, my fist seems to sink into its skin and sticks, almost like, like tar. I start to really struggle when I can’t pull my hand out. The creature just snarls, spittle hitting me in the face and burning my skin as it shakes me in its hold. I cry out as my injured leg is wrenched to and fro in its grip.

Tears threaten to fall at the pain but I use the jostling as momentum to swing myself even closer and grab at the creature’s face with my other hand. It’s not the smartest idea but-- I manage to dig a finger into one of its eyes and it yowls in pain, the grip on my leg gone in an instant. I drop to the ground and don’t even think as I push myself up and start running. 

I run back the way I came, hoping I’m heading back towards the river, back to Nikki. The creature growls in frustration behind me and I can hear it crashing through the brush. It almost reminds me of the wolfdogs we used to have back home, but this is raspier, heavier. Either way, it makes my skin crawl and my mind scream DANGER.

Trees whip at my face and vines and roots try to trip me and catch me for themselves. Nothing looks familiar, no trees, no trails of glowing mushrooms, and I fear I’m running the wrong way.

I don’t want to lead this thing back to Nikki; the idea makes me sick. If something were to happen to her becau--

A scream rips through me as I’m grabbed by the waist and yanked sidewards before a hand slams over my mouth and silences me. Instinct takes over and I thrash about, throwing elbows and kicking my feet in every direction. I even toss my head back, hoping to catch my capturer unawares, but they dodge and I hear a voice hiss:

“Stop struggling already!”

It’s such a shock to hear another human voice that I immediately stiffen. Seconds later the creature bursts into the small clearing in front of us and keeps going, not even slowing down. It’s only then I realize that I’ve been pulled into a little hollow nestled between some trees. I can see the roots start to creep toward us. 

“Fuckin’ rats,” the stranger spits, finally releasing his hold on me. Instinct--

I break into a run.

People don’t exist down here, and if they do they’re just as bad as the monsters.

An arm wraps around my waist, tugging me backward. I scream and thrash about, wilder than ever. I manage to get enough distance between us that I swing my arm backward and ignore the pain in my wrist as it connects with his face.

“Shit--calm down will ya? I’m not gonna hurt you!”

“That’s what they all say,” I growl. His hold has broken and I make a run for it.

I don’t consider the trees my friends as they help shield my retreat. I know they’d like nothing more than to devour me themselves but I’m too fast. Ignoring the razor-sharp leaves and branches that whip at my face I manage to make it quite a distance before I’m brought up short.

Another clearing. A few paces in front of me is the monster from before snuffling and pawing at the ground with its thick, stubby arms. I don’t know where the added light is coming from, but I’m able to see it clearly now. A grotesque, bulging body of muscles and fat, it balances on two legs and a long, thick tail while its nails scratch at the ground. From the side, I’m able to see that its face is squished inwards, though I know it wasn’t from me punching it. There’re its multiple eyes, but I can’t make out any ears or a nose, so it must rely on sight. Thankfully, it hasn’t spotted me yet.

But that doesn’t last long.

The man crashes through the underbrush and doesn’t stop in time before he runs into me, sending me forward into the clearing. The scuffle is loud enough that it catches the creature’s attention.

What’s that saying about the lesser of two evils?

Without thinking I grab the man’s hand and drag him back through the trees. They’re closer, desperate, knowing we’re so close but just out of reach. The creature screams and they shake away, clearing a path for us.

“Which way to the river?” I shout over my shoulder as we run. I haven’t been able to get a look at the man yet, but I can feel his strength in his grip in my hand.

“What?”

“The river! Which way to the river?”

Miraculously, the man starts to laugh. Our stride starts to distance as he slows, his body shaking with laughter. I glare over my shoulder at him, just barely able to make out his white teeth and wide smile. 

“Please tell me you didn’t go in there or drink from it.” my silence must be telling enough because he starts to howl with laughter. I’m amazed he has the breath to laugh and run for his life at the same time.

When he calms down enough he tells me, “That water is actually a monster’s piss. I’ve seen it from the distance once, and it’s fuckin’ huge. There’s even a mountain in the north that’s actually a pile of shit.”

Bile rises in my throat automatically at the knowledge of what we had drunk. The rational part of my mind finds enough breath to ask, “Then why the hell is it clear?”

“It’s miles long and gets filtered through the rocks. It’s drinkable, but I wouldn’t wanna be drinking some monster’s piss.”

Only slight relief fills me at this information. At least we’re not going to die or get sick from drinking it. But. But we might die if we can’t outrun the creature behind us.

I don’t want to lead it back to Nikki. I _really_  don’t want to lead the man back to her either. But if he was able to track me through the trees than he can help me find her, and help us escape. Maybe he’s not like the other humans we’ve seen down here. Maybe he’s real.

“This way,” it’s only when his grip tightens around mine that I realize we’re still holding hands. I want to yank mine out of his, but without his guidance, I’d be lost.

As he runs past me I can see his face, and the wide grin stretching above his scruffy beard. Anything else is lost as he takes the lead, but I’d swear he was enjoying this run for our lives.

We twist and turn through the trees, avoiding branches and roots and everything in between. I can’t catch my breath, I’m not used to running so much, and my thigh is throbbing but it sounds as if the monster is gaining on us. I don’t dare turn around.

We jump a ditch and I gasp as I miss the edge. The man’s hold on me is the only thing that keeps me from slipping down completely. 

“Just a bit further,” he grunts as we continue. There’s the sound of a tree collapsing as the monster chases after us. I’m sure if I listened closely enough I could hear the tree scream.

Light--brighter and more yellow than the white of the glowing fungi--peeks out between the trees ahead of us. I can feel relief consuming me as I know we’re close.

And then I see her.

Nikki is at the edge of the river with her spear spinning wildly between her hands, but it’s not her practicing. There’s some molted, bird-like creature the size of a child swiping at her with talons as long as my hand. I can hear its hiss from yards away as she hits it in the head with the blunt end of her spear. I start to run faster, pushing my body to its limits and leaving the man behind as I run for her, the protective instinct in me needing to help her, protect her.

I watch as she spins the spear behind and around her before thrusting it forward, right into the creature’s face. It falls limp immediately.

Unfortunately, I can’t stop my momentum and I slam into Nikki hard, the both of us crashing into the river. I’m so glad she’s safe, so glad to be back with her, that I can’t help but wrap my arms tightly around her waist and bury my face in her shoulder.

“Wha-Fae! What are you doing?” her hands flutter around my body as she struggles in my grasp. After another moment I let her go. She scrambles away from me. I try not to let it bother me as I continue to sit in the stream and catch my breath, my eyes never leaving Nikki. I’m so exhausted I don’t even care that I'm sitting in piss. 

“There’s two of ya?”

The man--

The trees do scream as the monster bursts between them, knocking a few loose of the dirt. Nikki shouts in surprise and the man jumps the stream to stand behind us. Coward.

In the brighter light, it’s much easier to see that its bulging body is actually… it’s actually--

Nikki retches at the sight, and I try not to follow.

Bodies squirm under the black surface, hands, and faces stretching the skin as if to break free. A high-pitched whine carries on the wind, and somehow, I know it’s screaming. There’s no actual face to the creature either, just its eyes and a gaping hole where the mouth should be, which is ringed with jagged teeth the length of my forearm. It’s a wonder I didn’t see them earlier or cut myself when I punched it.

“Fuckin’ rats,” the man says nonchalantly. I twist and glare up at him, but instead of the grin from earlier, his eyes are narrowed and his mouth is twisted into a stern line.

“You gonna help us or what?” I sneer. I’m drenched from the river but I don’t let it bother me as I climb out and grab Nikki’s forgotten spear on the bank closest to the monster. She’s a better shot with this thing than I am, but she’s still retching. My chest aches with the need to comfort her, to hold her until she calms. But that can probably never happen again.

“That spear isn’t gonna do a damn thing,” the man says. He’s sizing me up but I ignore him. In the light, I can clearly make out his disheveled appearance, and the bird’s nest on his head. His huge frame is covered in dead leaves and twigs to act as camouflage, and from here, I can just barely make out what looks to be a backpack clinging to his back for dear life.

I jerk my head at the bag. “You got something in there that’s better?”

“Watch out!”

Nikki’s scream is deafening as she collides into me seconds before a hand swipes the air where I’d been. We fall back into the river, sputtering and spitting, but we don’t have time to relax as the man grabs at our arms and hoists us out.

A gunshot--the creature yowls--black tar spurts out--

“Don’t let that shit touch you!”

\--another shot--

\--Nikki wrests the spear from my hands and throws, the aim true like always, and manages to pierce the tar-y skin--

\--it yowls again but--but--

It stomps the ground twice before turning tail and waddling back into the trees.

With our last weapon.

I turn to glare at Nikki but she’s back to retching on the side of the bank. My anger dissipates instantly as I go to her side. But I don’t touch her. My hand hovers uselessly over her back as she kneels over, heaving up nothing.

“That was some throw.”

The man steps into our line of sight. Nikki stops retching long enough to suck in air and gaze up at him. He grins when he notices we’re looking, almost looking sheepish as he takes the birds nest from his head and wrings it between his fingers. His bald head shines in the Pit’s weird light.

“Who the hell are you?” Nikki gasps. That’s my girl.

“Bosco Jennings. Thought I was the only sensible thing down here.”

“Wearing plants isn’t exactly sensible,” I say as I stand up straight.

His grin widens. I’m starting to hate it. “Neither is standing in a river of piss.”

Nikki scrambles up the bank and out of the river with a look of disgust on her face. I’m so tired I can barely climb out. Bosco offers his hand to help but I brush it away. If he’s not lying, at least the liquid is filtered.

With the threat of danger gone, my body starts to scream at me. The wound around my thigh burns like nothing before. In the back of my mind I worry about infection but… my arms ache, there are scratches covering every inch of bare skin not to mention the small burns on my face from the creature’s spit, and I can feel a gash running across my shoulder blade. That’s new.

Instead of voicing any of these pains, I grit my teeth and face Bosco. He’s smiling at Nikki, his hands twisting the birds nest as his eyes take her in. I want to be sick at that knowing gaze. 

But what right do I have? She’s forgotten all about us.

“Where did you come from?” Nikki asks. She’s calmed down now, brushed the hair from her face and wrangled as much liquid out of her clothes as possible. Her scarf is missing, but it doesn’t seem to bother her as her eyes remain focused on Bosco. My stomach starts to churn as I notice her right foot start to dig in the dirt. 

“There’s a gorge a couple miles north of here. Been livin’ there a couple months--”

“Months?!”

He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “Used to live in a den near my entrance, but people kept bothering me when they fell in. Plus, there’re some nasty plants that lurk out there.” Nikki gapes up at him, her eyes wide with amazement and something else.

“Just how long have you been down here?” I ask. 

He shrugs again, his sheepishness replaced with something more contemplative. Beneath the beard and dirt, he doesn’t look to be much older than us.

“No such thing as time down here. But I’d guess close to two years, if not more.”

“How?” Nikki’s foot is tracing patterns in the dirt now. It’s a sign of interest. I haven’t seen that in weeks.

He swings the pack off his shoulders and starts to pull items out. A gun--the second he pulls from his waist, and the thing he shot the creature with--a pot, rope, clothes. He grins up at us as he reveals it all and all I can do is gape at him.

Nikki crouches down by him and rifles through the items he’s pulled out, her fingers touching everything. I try not to let the displeasure show on my face as I regard how close the two of them are.

“There’s a small opening that’s like a black hole. Lost items tumble down all the time. I have a few caches spread around full of clothes and weapons. A couple shelters as well so I can stay on the move.”

Nikki is interested. She’s entranced. She clearly wants to stay with him and when she turns those big blue eyes on me she doesn’t even have to say a word.

I scowl and fold my arms across my chest. Despite her lost memories, she knows when she’s won.

She sticks out her hand towards Bosco. “I’m Nicola. And that’s Fae.”

Bosco’s face lights up as he shakes Nikki’s hand. I try not to retch at her giving him her full name. She usually hates it, usually only gives her nickname.

Bosco gives me a sly, knowing look. “Fae, huh? I don’t see any wings behind you. Or any extra appendages.”

Jokes about the mythical creatures make my skin crawl. I level him a look. “ _Don’t_.”

*~*~*~*

Bosco leads us north away from the piss river and towards his nearest shelter. He says he has food and a fresh water source and clean clothes. I let them walk ahead of me while they chat and inch closer to each other. Their size difference is almost comical. He must be well over six feet and his muscles bulge in a way that hints at an excellent food source. Nikki is barely 5’5” and these past weeks without enough food have her looking like a twig.

I hope we reach the shelter soon because I can feel my energy slipping away. I didn’t think the gash in my shoulder was too bad but I can feel it leaking down my back with every step. I might even need stitches.

It takes us over an hour to reach the shelter. It’s a cruddy little lean-to nestled between boulders set in a semicircle with a smoking rack on the left and a large fire pit in the center. Bosco shows it off excitedly, even going so far as to grab Nikki’s hands and pull her around the space.

“Where’s the fresh water? I need a bath,” I call out.

Bosco leaves Nikki by the fire pit to get it started. He pulls a sack from the shelter and tosses it to me. Inside are clean clothes.

“Lake is this way,” he whistles as he rounds the boulders. I don’t like the idea of leaving Nikki behind again, but she barely glances at me as we walk past. Despite my churning gut, I know she’ll be safe.

The trees are thinner here and aren’t much of a threat. Ten minutes in we climb a small hill and get an uninterrupted view of Bosco's lake. It’s more of a pond than a lake since I can clearly see the other side, but it’s just big enough that I wouldn’t easily be able to swim to it.

Bosco grins at me as we step off the hill and towards the water’s edge. Up close, I can see straight through to the floor-bed of the lake: fish, tadpoles, even swaying kelp. It’s beautiful.

“Promise this ain’t no piss lake. And nothing in there that’s gonna hurt you.”

“I’d drown you if it was.”

He laughs, the sound deep and almost welcoming. I may not be into men but somehow--his presence is comforting. Maybe I’m just losing too much blood.

“You can leave now,” I tell him after another moment of us just standing there in silence. He glances at me with that infuriating grin on his face--does he ever frown?--before he starts as he realizes I’m waiting for privacy.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he almost blushes when he nods. “Right. Er--right. Holler if you need anything.”

I watch his retreating form until it’s up over the hill and out of sight completely. Finally alone, I let the pain wash over me. Tears threaten to fall; I bite my lip until it bleeds to stop myself from screaming. I peel my shirt off first; the material is so caked with blood that it sticks to the gash and it takes every ounce of willpower I have to not cry out. There’s no telling how sound carries out here, and I can’t have Bosco or, worse, Nikki, hearing me. When the hell had I gotten this cut? I thought I’d dodged the monster completely. Maybe a tree actually got me.

When I peel off my pants, I start to laugh.

Angry red lines snake out from the wound in my thigh.

I’m no doctor; I hardly know anything about medicine or science, but even I can tell how horrible this looks. Blood infections are almost impossible to cure out here.

Our second day here, when we thought the trees were safe, we slept beneath them peacefully. Until I awoke to Nikki screaming. Her body was covered in vines trying to simultaneously drag her to their roots and rip her apart for easier access. We had more weapons then, and a low-burning fire, so after some cutting and burning, I was able to get Nikki free. Except one of the thicker, sneakier ones, that wrapped around my thigh and dug in with such speed I could hardly act before my leg was drenched in blood. It’s a miracle I even kept the leg. That night, under the Pit’s endless ceiling, I wholeheartedly accepted Nikki’s pampering. That might have been the last time she held me actually.

Now, I wash it tenderly, tears mixing with the bloodied water.

Nikki can’t know.

After washing myself, I use a softer shirt to make bandages. It’s a sloppy job, wrapping myself up, but it’s fine for now. A baggy shirt and loose pants help hide everything. I sit on the bank of the lake for quite some time to dry off and collect myself. If I went back to the camp with red eyes and a stuffy nose, Nikki would know something happened. I need to do what I can to not worry her.

When I finally do go back there’s a large fire blazing. There’s no such thing as sunset here, but I’m sure it’s early evening by now. Today went by too fast.

I can hear them talking before I see them, and when I do, I stop in my tracks. Hidden between the boulders, I’m able to hear their conversation without interrupting them. I’m also able to see how close they sit to one another. Even on the same ground Bosco still towers over Nikki. 

“--ill surprised you two lasted this long with just a spear,” Bosco is saying. He’s shed his camouflage and is sitting in just a tank top. I can see scars crisscrossing the back of his neck and the tops of his shoulders.

Nikki replies with a joke, “We used to have more items, but the local inhabitants wanted them more.”

It makes Bosco chuckle, the desired effect, and even though I can’t see her face I know she’s flushed. “Yeah, they’re pretty feisty down here. If you know what to do though, they’ll leave you alone.”

Nikki draws her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around her waist. It’s her favorite comfort position. “...I don’t know if I could have survived down here by myself.” Lie. “I mean, Fae has kept us safe since day one--” lie “--I don’t know what I would do without her.” You’d survive just fine. “Her willpower is the strongest thing I know.” 

“She seems like a real firecracker.”

“She’s… she’s pretty amazing.”

“How long have the two of you known each other? Doesn’t seem like new friends would just wander down here.”

“We’ve been fr--friends since we were teenagers.”

“Just friends?” 

Bosco is leaning so close to Nikki that if I wasn’t looking as closely as I was, I’d assume they were kissing. When she jumps and gapes at him, I use that moment to make myself known. I don’t want to hear her answer. It’s interesting to know that Bosco might suspect what we were, but it’s not like it matters anymore.

When Nikki sees me, she smiles bright and welcoming, but there’s something off about it like she’s confused about something. I don’t let it dig in deep as I toss Bosco his bag without even looking at him before heading for the shelter.

“I’m going to bed.”

“Uh. Sure. Yeah, sure. There’s uh, there’s a blanket in there you can use. I’ll find something else for the two of us.”

Nikki jumps to her feet. “I’m gonna head to bed as well.” she stretches and offers a smile at Bosco, who’s staring up at her with a dazed look on his face, before she turns that smile on me. It tightens, but she doesn’t hesitate as she follows me into the little lean-to and we spread the blanket out to accommodate both of us. Bosco tries to help by offering other things, but Nikki just waves him off. He doesn’t argue when she smiles at him. 

My heart beats unbelievable fast as we lay down side by side, inches apart from one another. Just last night we had to share body heat to keep warm since we didn’t even have a blanket to help. But now, even with the limited space and all that’s happened, I can’t understand why Nikki would want to be so close. With her back to Bosco, she faces me fully, the smile completely gone from her face.

“What’s wrong?” she whispers. We’re close enough that her breath ghosts across my face and Bosco won’t be able to hear us over the crackling of the fire. 

My stomach swoops. She hasn’t seen the cuts, has she? The blood? “What makes you think there’s something wrong?”

I shouldn’t but--the way her eyebrows draw together in frustration is so unbelievably cute that I want to kiss the spot to soothe it. 

“Well--that hug--”

I roll my eyes and act like it didn’t mean as much as I wanted it to. “I was just relieved to see you were okay. I was running for my life and I come back and you’re fighting some monster. I was overwhelmed.”

“You never touch me though. Never.”

“That’s because you don’t like to be touched.” 

“N--you’re the one who doesn’t like to be touched.” What a lie. Even when she was shy and nervous, we could hardly keep our hands to ourselves. It caused a lot of staring back home.

We stare at one another in mild confusion and frustration. I can’t tell her. I can’t tell her how desperately I want to wrap her in my arms and press our bodies together and never let her go. How I want to kiss every single freckle, from her forehead to her toes and back again. Last time I tried to kiss or hold her romantically, she panicked and rejected me. She didn’t know who I was or what our relationship was, and I can’t put that kind of pressure on her ever again.

Over her shoulder I see Bosco try to cover a cough. I can’t tell if he’s shifted closer or not, so I have no idea what he’s heard.

“Just forget about it, Nikki,” I mutter as I close my eyes. I’d roll over and away from her, but I can’t let her see my back. I can feel the makeshift bandage cling to my skin painfully. 

“Fae--”

“Just go to sleep.”

She doesn’t protest again, but her sigh of annoyance ruffles the curls against my forehead and lets me know we’re not through with this conversation. Peeking out at her I watch as she rolls onto her other side. The inches between us feel like miles, and I can feel my heart breaking.

*~*~*~*

_ fire  _

_ fire  _

_ fire  _

_ everything is on fire  _

_ I can’t feel anything  _

_ it all burns  _

_ I hear Nikki calling me  _

_ cursing me  _

_ shaking me _

_ but it hurts  _

_ I cry out at the touch  _

_ she cries out in shock  _

_ I’m flying  _

_ I’m floating _

_ Nikki is crying _

_ I can taste her tears _

_ I’m so tired _

_ it all hurts so much _

_ I can’t _

_ I can’t  _

_ Nikki _

_ Nikki loves me  _

_ she loves me  _

_ I can’t breathe _

_ I can’t breathe  _

_ it hurts so much _

_ I _

_ I can’t feel anything _

_ nothing _

 

_ just _

 

_ floating _

 

_ no more burning _

 

_ no more pain _

 

 

 

_ no more _

 

 

 

_ anything _

  
  


 

 

_ she _

  
  


 

 

_she loves me_

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

*~*~*~*

The whisper of a caress leaves my cheeks as my eyes slide open.

When Nikki sees I’m looking at her, she gives me one of her beautiful smiles, even as tears start to fall immediately. I can taste the salt as a few slide between my chapped lips.

“You’re awake,” she whispers, and her grip around me tightens. The fingers of her free hand trail gently down the side of my face, tracing an invisible line between my temple and my chin. She even runs her index finger under my bottom lip, so light I almost don’t feel it. Nikki, holding me, touching me--I must be imagining things. I must have--I must have--

“She’s awake?” Bosco’s big bald head fills my line of sight, and his grin is so genuine it’s almost as beautiful as Nikki’s. Almost. Nothing compares to her. “She’s awake! Man, I’m so glad. I didn’t--”

“ _Don’t_.” Nikki’s voice is like gravel as she commands him to stop. He does without any complaint, giving her a sheepish, knowing smile before he leaves my line of sight. Her lips are twisted into a frown, there’s an even larger furrow between her eyebrows; I’ve never seen her look so angry before.

She must watch Bosco’s retreat to make sure he’s far enough away before she turns back to me. Immediately her face transforms until she’s smiling again.

“I thought I lost you for a moment,” she says.

My throat is so dry I can barely swallow, and despite my aches and pains and the fact that this has to be a dream because Nikki hasn’t smiled or touched me like this in weeks, I know I can still crack a joke.

“Where’d I go?”

I don’t even know if I actually spoke the words, but Nikki is so close she hears me anyway. Her eyes soften.

God, how I’ve missed that look.

“Somewhere you shouldn’t go. Not yet, at least. Not for a long time.”

Mustering all my strength I lift a hand and place it over the one she has cupping my cheek. My eyes close as I soak in the feel. Her skin is so warm. 

“I must still be dreaming,” I hear myself mutter. This--this can’t be real. I’ve given up hope for her remembering, for her wanting me, even given up us holding hands like when we were kids. I’ve felt so empty these past few weeks, there’s no way this can be happening. We experience near-death accidents on a daily, and none of them have brought us to this.

“It’s real, I swear it,” she says, her fingers curling slightly against my cheek so I can feel her nails press into my skin. “I almost lost you and I--I couldn’t live with myself if I wasn’t honest anymore.”

That has my eyes flying open and staring at her. Hope--I dare not breathe--fills me.

Her eyes soften again, but this time there’s regret swimming in them. 

“I don’t remember everything,” she starts. What little air I had saved in my lungs is sucked away and I can feel heat build behind my eyes, but she continues, her voice wavering the faster she goes. “But I did remember I love you. Or maybe I fell in love again, I’m not sure. I can’t remember our first kiss or my neighbors or even our first day down here. There have even been nights when I wake up and don’t remember who I am or where we are, but whenever I look at you I just--I just know I love you, and that you’re my safety. Wherever you are is where I want to be.”

I can’t remember the last time I cried. Surely it was when we were still living topside, surrounded by our hateful neighbors. Maybe it was the first time we made love. Maybe our first night here and we realized we were finally safe, before we realized just what kind of hellhole this place actually is.

Either way, I can’t remember. But hearing Nikki’s confession has me crying like never before, relief and confusion, longing and heartache, and so much more, welling up and overflowing because it can’t be contained. I don’t want to contain it anymore. 

“Why haven’t you said anything sooner?” I beg her, because I need to know. I need to know why she’s kept silent. “Even if this wasn’t how you felt, I would have done anything to make you feel comfortable.”

She chuckles and fixes me with a crooked frown. “Are you forgetting how intimidating you can be? Or how it took me months to talk to you? I’m not as brave as you are.”

“You’re crazy,”

“I know, believe me, I know. But I was just so scared that you wouldn’t return my feelings and I--I couldn’t deal with that. We’re fighting for our lives down here, and I know you’ll protect me, but there was always that nagging thought that if I confessed, you’d be disgusted and leave me alone. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive that.”

“Only your alcohol tolerance disgusts me,” I joke, and I beam when it elicits another beautiful, watery laugh. She nods in agreement.

“You’re just bitter you could never hold your alcohol.”

“Never again will I challenge you.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” she says and traces my lips once more. 

It’s not as amatuer as our first kiss. That was a mess of teeth and bumped noses. It’s not as deep as when we were older teenagers and would fiercely makeout in the town square to piss off our neighbors. That was a mess of, well, everything.

But this one is unbearably sweet. 

Just a featherlight brush of lips, barely enough to taste her, before she pulls away and we stare at one another with only inches between us.

“I’ve missed you,” I tell her.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

*~*~*~*

A warm, heavy weight rests on top of me, making me feel safe and anchored. I can smell Nikki’s sweat so I know it’s her without even opening my eyes, and I let the dopey smile spread across my face without even bothering to stop it. I tighten my grip on her, and she shifts with the movement, slowly waking up as well.

The first thing she sees when she looks at me is my smile, and I can tell by the lighting of her eyes she loves it.

She pushes up on an elbow so she hovers over me; she uses a free hand to trace my bottom lip, the touch featherlight and oh so welcoming. “It seems like forever since I’ve seen you smile,” she says in way of greeting. It’s daybreak; she saw me smiling all yesterday, but I don’t argue.

“I’ll smile forever as long as you’ll have me.”

She rolls her eyes and looks away, but there’s a slight flush to her cheeks that has me knowing I said the right thing. I miss being romantic with her. I want to say all the mushy, gushy things I used to say when we were first going out.

“You’re such a sap--”

The smile falls off her face so quickly it immediately has me on alert. I force myself to sit up, craning my head in the direction she’s looking but nothing seems out of place. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

She untangles her arms and legs from mine as she moves to stand away from me. “It’s--it’s nothing. You should keep resting. I’ll bring you something to eat.”  she doesn’t spare me another glance as she dusts herself off and heads towards a fire burning a few feet away. I try to sit up completely, but there’s a tear in my shoulder that has me wincing. Nikki must hear my gasp because she whirls around, her face streaked with worry. 

“I’m fine,” I call out, knowing better than to try and sit up again. When she sees me laying down, she calms down and resumes her task. It’s only then that I’m able to take in my surroundings. 

I don’t see Bosco anywhere, but there’s a small lean-to on the other side of the fire, similar to the one built around me. Maybe they’re the ones from before; I can hear the lapping of the lake behind me, so I can only assume somehow they brought me down here and didn’t move me again for safety reasons.

Something’s roasting on the fire; Nikki takes care to check it and see if it’s edible, but she just shakes her head before poking into the other lean-to. She comes out with something wrapped in a giant leaf before making her way back towards me.

“It’s not much; Bosco hasn’t felt comfortable leaving us alone long enough to really hunt for anything to eat.” Nikki sits back down beside me, close enough her legs press against my arm. I lift it and rest it on her knees. She unwraps the leaf and shows me what’s inside: berries and some kind of oblong fruit.

“Uh--”

She offers a small laugh, already knowing what I’m thinking. “They’re safe, don’t worry. He wouldn’t hurt us with poisoned fruit.”

I open my mouth for Nikki to feed me. She levels her gaze at me, but I don't relent. And amazingly, she obliges, her lips quirking into another beautiful smile. “What a baby,” she mutters, popping a berry into my mouth.

It’s sweet, with a lingering tart aftertaste. Almost reminds me of a raspberry, but I don’t feel any seeds. “I’m wounded,” I joke, “you’re supposed to take care of me.”

Her smile falls away again. 

She offers me another berry when she sees the confusion on my face. I chew it to give her time. Even if she claims not to remember everything, with her confession, it feels as if we’re able to read each other without any trouble, like we used to. 

“I almost wasn’t able to,” she finally whispers. “If it hadn’t been for Bosco I don’t--I don’t know what would have happened.”

“What did happen?” I ask. She opens her mouth to question me-- “I mean, I know I got hurt, but I didn’t think it was so bad--”

“Fae, you almost _died_. I held you in the lake for almost two days to keep your fever down. Bosco had to go into the forest to get you something to get rid of the sap eating at your skin--”

“Sap?”

“Flesh-eating sap, yep,” Bosco’s deep voice almost seems to echo in the space around us as he enters by the other lean-to. He throws down a fish-trap next to the fire before coming over to us. His grin is as wide as the first time I saw him. “The tree’s sap is flesh-eating, just like them, but you can’t always feel it until it’s too late. Which is almost was.”

“Then how’d you fix it?”

Nikki rests a hand on my thigh, the touch comforting. 

“You fix it by using what attacks them. ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’ and all that shit.”

I just stare at Bosco as he grins at us.

I can almost feel Nikki rolling her eyes as she answers. “The mushrooms attached to the trees. The ones that glow. Grinding them up makes a sort of paste that we applied to your shoulder, and it ate away all the sap. We had to use maggots for some of your dead skin--”

“Say no more,” I tell her, holding up a hand. She chuckles and squeezes my thigh. Bugs are my weakness, and she knows it.

Bosco heads back to the fire and his fish trap. He dumps out a few tiny, still wriggling fish. My mouth waters. “Anyways, seems like you’re doing loads better. We should be able to head out in a few days, go somewhere new.”

“Why can’t we stay here?”

One of his huge shoulders lifts in a shrug. “It’s not safe. Not safe anywhere, really, but staying in one place too long is how you get killed.”

“We’ll stay as long as it takes for you to heal though,” Nikki says to comfort me. Her hand on my thigh is a reassuring weight. I lay my own hand on top of hers and lace our fingers together. 

I say the only thing I can think of. “I heal fast.”

~*~*~*~

A few days later I’m able to walk around without much pain. There’s still a stiffness in my back, and my skin tugs when my shoulders move forward, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. It’ll probably always be like that.

During my bed rest, Nikki and I had gone over her memories. Bits and pieces come and go, and huge chunks remain missing, but she continues to smile at me and kiss me and tell me she loves me. She says she doesn’t need to remember the past to love me in the future. I couldn’t ask for more.

Bosco quickly becomes one of our greatest friends. Despite my earlier misgivings, and the idea of him and Nikki turning into something more, Bosco becomes irreplaceable, and almost seems to delight in our love. He didn’t need to ask or for us to say anything for him to understand our relationship. He would have been an amazing friend to have topside.

Between the early hours of dawn and the lingering light of dusk, we also decide on our future.

We don’t really want to continue fighting for our lives against monsters and the unknown; humans are much more predictable and easier to handle, despite their verbal barbs and violent actions. But Bosco knows this place like the back of his hand, and I would rather live freely with the woman I love by my side than hiding who I am to satisfy my hateful, conservative neighbors. 

Nikki grips my hand in hers, our fingers laced together tightly. She hasn’t left my side once these past few days, and I feel as if I’ve fallen in love all over again. And again and again. She never stops amazing me. 

“So I’m a little tired of the heat,” Bosco tells us as he shoulders a pack. His grin is wide and his face is freshly shaven, thanks to a blade Nikki found for him. He looks much younger with half his face visible now. Much more welcoming too. “There’s a spot in the south where the weather is beautiful. Fewer trees, more fruit, but also more nightly visitors. But I know some tricks to keep them away if you ladies are up for the journey.”

“How far is it?” Nikki asks. 

“A couple days, at least. We could detour too if y’all want, and I can show you some of the sights down here. A boneyard, a canyon full of worms, a willow whose branches whisper dreams--”

“Are you trying to get us to sightsee or lead us to our death?” I ask sarcastically.

Surprisingly, he laughs. “It’s always good to be aware of your surroundings, especially if they’re dangerous. These are just a few spots to avoid, though there are some good things about them.”

“Name one.”

Nikki lets go of my hand before wrapping her arm around my waist, careful of my tender back. Bosco starts to walk along the lake’s edge as he launches into a rant of the Pit, from the horrors and beauties and everything in between. We pay attention to everything he says, taking it all in in stride as we keep pace behind him, our steps in sync for the first time in weeks. 

Honestly, it all sounds like hell. Horrible, horrible, agonizing hell. We never should have come down here if we’re to expect things like flying snakes, color-changing rocks, and clouds that rain urine, among all the other things we’ve seen and experienced.

But Bosco is charming and makes us laugh and adds a level of safety and protection I didn’t know we needed. And for one more day, Nikki is safe and warm pressed against my side, her long auburn hair tickling my bare arms as we walk. I don’t feel great, I don’t expect a lot of good things in our future, but I’m with the woman I love, a surprising new friend that I wouldn’t want to be without, and there is nothing to stop us from living freely.

What more could I ask for?

  
  



End file.
